June 2012
6 posts
2 tags
“When I start to get frustrated at Learner drivers, I remember that I should be...”
– Facebook
2 tags
“My attempt at cooking dinner for the first time in about a year took almost 3...”
– Facebook
1 tag
“Why must I be such a easy drunk! Oh uncontrollable word vomit you make my life...”
– Facebook
“Attempting to run a short distance to home whilst drunk has ended with a...”
– Facebook
“I wish they invented two right hands”
– Trying to paint her nails
“This is horrible! Because it really happened! It’s like World War II!”
– Watching Game of Thrones
February 2012
3 posts
“Religion and politics are pretty much the same thing.”
January 2012
6 posts
OSF's Dad: There's scratches on your car here, did you drive into a bush or something?
OSF: Oh yeah, I drive into a bush every morning when I reverse out of the garage! I didn't think it would do anything, it's only leaves...
“30 mins of my life I’ll never get back! Head into the shopping centre for...”
– Facebook
“Why won’t the car move, I keep accelerating checked the car is on, move...”
– Facebook
“Caught the train home today and managed to get off at the right stop! So proud!”
– Facebook
“Ghosts aren’t real, right?”
“Well, you don’t catch milk with honey!
You don’t catch flies with...”
– You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
2 tags
“You know what’s funny…like how there were ancient Egyptians and...”
November 2011
8 posts
3 tags
“I learnt what tweeting meant today. And retweeting. It’s like people write...”
3 tags
“No matter how drunk I am, I always say how awesome my mum is.”
–
2 tags
“Key Lime Pie? Is that real?”
“Ok, I’ll be back soon. Oh, wait.”
– Said as we are going out and OSF is staying home
3 tags
OSF: Magician. Magic-ism. Ohh it's a magic triangle!
Me: What?
OSF: Magicism means magic triangle. Because ism means triangle. Like prism.
Me: What? No.
2 tags
Friend: He's looking for the amenities.
OSF: Isn't that an animal?
8 tags
Lemon Chicken Recipe
Step 1: Microwave frozen chicken breast until completely cooked. Step 2: Pour on lemon juice. Step 3: Add pepper.
“You know, maybe I’m not as good of a cook as I thought…”
3 tags
“Was asked by an overseas colleague where Victoria was located. After taking some...”
–
October 2011
6 posts
6 tags
“What’s The Lion King about again? Communism?”
–
7 tags
Beauty and the Geek: What does I.Q. stand for?
OSF: Artificial intelligence!
2 tags
Me: So Steve Jobs died.
OSF: Yeah I know...
OSF: Who is he?
2 tags
“Oh, do you need a degree to be a paramedic?”
–
5 tags
“I was just brushing my teeth when everything went dark and just as I was about...”
–
5 tags
Me: Hey Goldfinger is on.
OSF: Oh. Is that B105?
Me: ... What? You mean 007?
OSF: Yeah that one.
September 2011
3 posts
3 tags
“Isn’t there a sin called gluteny?”
– On the subject of a gluten free diet
4 tags
Co-worker: My son brought a baby chicken home from school yesterday.
OSF: That's cool. When it grows up, you can get your eggs from it.
Co-worker: Unless it grows up to be a rooster...
OSF: But I thought you said it was a chicken?
Co-worker: Roosters are chickens...
OSF: Oh... Really?
Co-worker: Where did you think roosters came from?
OSF: Baby roosters?
3 tags
“Is that actually real?”
–
August 2011
4 posts
4 tags
“I’m just a tall boy from a tall family, selling my house for a small cup...”
– Bohemian Rhapsody Lyrics
2 tags
“Do you think they had to get his permission to use his face and voice and stuff?”
– On JFK featuring in Call of Duty: Black Ops
2 tags
“Vegans don’t eat carrots do they?”
–
2 tags
“It’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the skin of the front
It’s...”
– Eye of the Tiger Lyrics
