"No matter how drunk I am, I always say how awesome my mum is."
- 
"Key Lime Pie? Is that real?"
"Ok, I’ll be back soon. Oh, wait."
- Said as we are going out and OSF is staying home
OSF: Magician. Magic-ism. Ohh it's a magic triangle!
Me: What?
OSF: Magicism means magic triangle. Because ism means triangle. Like prism.
Me: What? No.
Friend: He's looking for the amenities.
OSF: Isn't that an animal?
Lemon Chicken Recipe
Step 1: Microwave frozen chicken breast until completely cooked.
Step 2: Pour on lemon juice.
Step 3: Add pepper.
“You know, maybe I’m not as good of a cook as I thought…”
"Was asked by an overseas colleague where Victoria was located. After taking some time to think I turn to my boss and ask “Is Victoria in South Australia?” I got a concerned look back…scary how much you forget after school!"
- 
"What’s The Lion King about again? Communism?"
- 
Beauty and the Geek: What does I.Q. stand for?
OSF: Artificial intelligence!
Me: So Steve Jobs died.
OSF: Yeah I know...
OSF: Who is he?
"Oh, do you need a degree to be a paramedic?"
- 
"I was just brushing my teeth when everything went dark and just as I was about to yell out ‘turn the lights back on!’ I realized that I was closing my eyes!"
- 
Me: Hey Goldfinger is on.
OSF: Oh. Is that B105?
Me: ... What? You mean 007?
OSF: Yeah that one.
"Isn’t there a sin called gluteny?"
-
On the subject of a gluten free diet
